multi-multi-multi

"it's a bad news"

sometimes Jr. chanting tis phrase. i doubt if he really mean it.

yesterday we met a therapist. Ms Madeleine. I got her number from a friend, Ira. She got it from advert board at Giant KJ. She hasn't called herself, yet she passed me the number when i mentioned i am looking for a private tutor, kind of.

Ms Madeleine is a nice lady, at least she's nice to me but she sounds strict with Jr. 

(Good Sign #1)

She explained her kinda curriculum, that includes Behavioral modification, Language, Motor Skills, Fine Motor Skills, Reading, Self Help, Socialising...err i think that's all. but that's pretty complete i think.

I dun think she's doing ABA, as I myself not very clear about ABA anyway, she seems convincing that's good enough for me so i made appointment for Jr. 

I managed to get three sessions a week into her schedule. Phew!

Oh before that, the week earlier...i went to eip autism at kota damansara. i almost almost made up my mind to proceed with them despite their cost is very expensive (for me), but at last i decided not to.

They may offer super good programs, perhaps...but i need to be rational. Maybe we can afford to pay but what is my expectation? For sure i will raise up the scale and what if they (read : Jr) could not meet the target? Having considered so, it's better to go with a more practical choice rather than spending thousands every months but end up Im frustrated.

So i happened to meet Ms Madeleine.

Yesterday while we having discussion, she let Jr. play with some toys. oh btw, she has plentiful of teaching materials...yeah i like that. 

(Good Sign #2)

Then she noticed that Jr. arranged alphabets & numbers correctly..but some of them in reversed order. 

Gulp!

He hit my panic button again.

She asked me if i ever noticed this trend before..reluctantly i answered "y e s"

yes sometimes i noticed he did reversal numbers / alphabets but it's quite rare, as i recalled. and i kept assuring myself it was just some mistakes. but maybe it's time to face the truth.

She say that maaaaybe an exhibit of dyslexia, but worry not about it. (shouldn't i?)

some of these special kids have multiple challenges. (yeah i heard it right)

but it means we have another "lauk" into our plate now. :(

dear Son,

if you are reading this later in future, please please understand..i never regret about any single thing.

you are the best for me. tho maybe im not the best for you.

but i will try to make the best out of me.

i love you. i guess you know that already. yes i love you

let's working on it together, shall we? :)

project

i used to be so laidback. whenever i recall what have i done for my son since he was diagnosed with ASD, i think i could stop counting at single hand. 

i care for him thats for sure. but i was not resourceful, until i joined AM group at FB.

upon joining the group i learned so much from other parents. there is like a one stop centre to clear all your doubts, at least one person wud answer. ofcos it's good but some other times i cant help but feeling inadequate. i learned there are so much i should have done, yet i did not. and other parents are doing so great while i'm not. 

wake up call moment.

but it took me a long while to kick my f*t a** up.

then last week i started a project. study room. i used most recycled items. so i could save some pennies hopefully for his therapy.

kerusi student & bangku cikgu

Jr. loves the fish

I hope we will be doing better during this school break. 

No Teacher Claire tis time but Teacher Mommy is ready to rock in'...ada bran?

bawang putih bawang merah

Agak nostalgic gitu title post kali ni..

Sebab?

My big baby dah boleh naik buai..yes yes yessss!!!
OVER TAU!
anyway...YESS YESS YESSSS!! 

*insert dancing banana here*
heh :p

this morning at Cads..

opocot! lemme guess..i havent blog about him being moved to Cads Centre.

he started at Cads fulltime on last wednesday. so it is a week now

after a good deep thought, we both agreed to pull him out from that last school. it's very clear he's not happy there. and i dun see any good point to force him to stay. so last week i prepared a letter request for a 2 week holiday, to de-stress his emotions. i guess they have nothing to against it.

next week i shall go thru the formal procedure of school's resignation. *nyampah*

okay so back to Cads, so far.

first day was bad. i mean, it was a pretty disaster.

he kept clung on me, hold my hands tight, like never ever let me off.

he wanted to go in, but with the condition that mommy shall stay together, never ever to be apart.

that's clearly a baaad sign. he felt insecured. so there i waited for him thru the session but outside.

second day, i left. i heard he cried at top of his lung, but i just drove off. *devil here*

later when i picked up in the afternoon, he looked all soooo fine. after solat zuhur masyaAllaah he looked so calm. mommy happy happy happy. syukur.

third day, morning drama continued. but again i left soon after reciting quran session.

he's adjusting pretty fine.

this week he seems even better. yesterday he started to try new food, that was NASI KERABU! 

*dropped jaw* 

and today he did allow in some rice with KURMA DAGING! can you believe that??

oh my!

and tis morning he enjoyed swing like a pro! (err..ok a bit exaggeration here)

but to me, that is AWESOME! he overcome his fear! that's great, isnt it?

I am so happy. syukur. 

so i cooked a good dinner, tho simple but thats my very own heartfelt meals. and then i ironed basketful of clothes.
sweaty and smelly. yet, now i'm still feeling good.

Alhamdulillaah..thank you Ya Rabb

for every single thing.

for every thing bestowed upon me.

for good time and for bad time.

they are all precious lessons.

honestly

i am a freaky mom
i am not that cool
tho i tried to bury my worries
but sometimes, or at times
i almost can hear my heartbeats
almost like drumming

i just want the best for him
(or perhaps out of him?)


Happy (belated) Mother's Day to myself
shall i grace my imperfections, i always will

thank you for being my baby

of anger and temper

last friday we had meeting at school. with principal, pk & discipline teacher.

i prayed hard for a smooth, professional discussion. alhamdulillaah it went well.

i didnt expect to win the case, but i just want them to admit their and apologized.

and they did.

but.

after all..today, i'm still hardly recuperating

everytime Jr throws temper tantrum, i get myself into temper fit as well. and that it soo not right.

today at Fakih class, Ummar behaved totally different. he was not cooperating, tantrums and unhappy.

i throw all the blames to the stu**d teachers!

and i found myself guilty too.

aaarrggh!

pic taken a day before the "tragedy"

short stories

finally i decided to write again. lots of things happened. but i just straighten up my mind and put things in correct orders, not in writing, just yet. sometimes i think i have very little time to spare, but i reminded myself i am far from that title "a busy person". i am just an ordinary housewife, taking care of my small family.

list of happenings

* first of Feb - Jr. entered PPKI Sek Keb Damansara Jaya (1) 

   he's adjusting, still. i have good, bad, and gory story about tis but as i said im not good at putting it in orders.

* then Jr started horse riding lesson, at DARC. 

* Jr. was dismissed from school activities, twice then i made my points straight to the PK. Then i found some improvement, alhamdulillaah...

* March - Jr started speech therapy at Klinik Audiologi & Pertuturan UKM KL.

* mid of April, he started swimming therapy at Pusat Akuatik Shah Alam, under ppki arrangement. Mommy was invited to be his teacher aide. 

* mid of April, he started OT & ST at Cads Centre

* end of April, he joined school camping activity. Again, Mommy was invited as teacher aide but we didnt spend overnight at school. We joined partially.

* today - i found him BOTAK! done by school teacher. 

   shocked, sad, and devastated.