ramadhan dream

we are now in the third phase
and im starting to feel the real "heat"
of trying to get THE BEST moments of tis beautiful month
and to make the best effort, as best as possible.

everybody is talking about Laylatul Qadr, the  Night of Decree
i too, share the same dream
but somewhere deep inside i feel ashamed
for i believe, that special moments of the special night reach to chosen people
whose hearts are pure
and im afraid, i am not.

but i do thank Allah, for this bountiful rahmah
for giving me chance
to learn and to repent.

may Allah keep me steadfast on the right path.
and take away riak from my heart.

Ramadhan moon

moon moon moon..Ramadhan moon...Ramadhan moon..
you know tht song?
Jr. tried to sing it and i think it was too cute. heh

it's 7th ramadhan today. but i havent started yet. huhu
*imagining my ganti puasa marathon later*

life is fine. if it's not super fine, but we are grateful indeed.

Tho.
Jr. been having cough (pretty bad) since a week ago.
but tis time around he allowed himself to drink cough syrup without any struggle.
that's good yeah.
but the horror part, he keep on insisting to drink em, every time he feels uncomfortable. risau plk.

Since Ramadhan, i reschedule his sessions to make ease for me, the driver the cook the etc.
i plan to discontinue his session at wq park (yeah they are good, but i still do prefer ms teo)
so opted to session at ms teo instead, once a week. i think that shud be okay. plus, he has another weekly session with teacher nurul at cads.
His tuition with Teacher Madeleine is getting better. I think he get used to that routine too.
And for mommy, i took sort-of-ABA session with Linda. We just started yesterday. She will coach me on how to organize my so-called home program *wink*

I hope we are doing fine, and better.

pastime

we had good times together...
and we are getting better, when we are together

pheww!

when things seem falling into right places
one by one
one after another

one supreme word best describes all
ALHAMDULILLAAH

# small little progress is a HUGE achievement for us. 

coloring, good pencil grip are one of those milestones #

huha

my lappy is taking a break.
not sure for what reason. probably its power connection.
blogging by tis pad is not satisfying. I want to type. Like, really typing.

Jr's therapy schedule has been finalised.
Im glad finally i could settle the affairs (searching, considering & assesment are pretty tiring) and now it's time to focus on the program.
Hello brand new week.
His program will include;
School session, morning to after Zuhur.
Occupational Therapy, 3 times a week.
Speech Therapy, 2 times a week.
Individual Education Program, 3 times a week.
Quran Class, once a week.
Music Therapy, fortnightly.
Horseriding, once a week.
Reading Class, once a week.

that should be enough for tis year.
We'll see how is it going.
I hope he will show some improvements so we can reduce some therapy hours next year.
Oh. And we will go for a dip at pool some time, at least once a week.
Our de-stress moments.

Last week i bought some new toys for our hometuition session. Teacher Mommy needs some teaching materials.

gelora II

waaah..
ada sequel la plak..
saje nak update utk tatapan diri sendiri di masa depan
after a week plus i ventured into new regime, heh
think i can see its result already
my skin now rejuvenated, refreshed, revived, errr..apa2 re lagi lah
(i hope re-muda too) heh
i know i've spent alot this month
not only for Jr's new therapy program
but for my own skin therapy as well;)*
*budget lari pecut 100m*
but im happy wit the result at least for now,
most importantly, jangan malas
i have luxury time at nite as Jr goes to bed early
so i have all my me-time till i retire to bed
so no excuse for cheating 5mins night routine
my most challenge is morning rush
i just need to beat my habit
my favs, tis month.

kosong

Kosong. 

That's exactly how i felt last two days when I could not find Jr anywhere, twice.  

First, at home. He was playing by himself downstairs, outside at "smoking area". 

From morning he took out his toys and drinks, as pretend play picnic. He looked excited. I asked him to get inside but he refused. 

It was around 1pm and i need to get myself clean up before zuhur. So i went upstairs. I tot it was just a very little while, but later i couldn't hear his voice. No him and no scooter at sight. I immediately drove off as im pretty sure he's heading to playground. I was right. I found him right at the center of the road, with his scooter, almost near playground. It was breezy afternoon, we are lucky that not many cars passed by and he escaped harm. Alhamdulillaah.

Later i took him to my sister house. I thought it's better to engage him into some playtime with his cousins, or just to kill his boredom. While on the way there, he slept. He must be tired. Once we reached, he refused to come out. He looked sleepy. So i left him in the car for a while and i went in. 

Very short while later i came out to check on him. He was there in the car, looked sleepy.

I went in again and asked my niece to get ready to go out for drink.

Very short while later i came out again to check on him.
But this time he was not there. My car door open.

He was not there. Not anywhere nearby. Not at playground, not around. 

Few mins passed. I felt numb inside. 

I pray to Allah to protect him. No one can harm him, except by HIS will. I pray to Allah to protect him.

Kosong. Numb.

Laailaha illa anta, subhanaka inni kuntu minazzolimiin.

Almost 15 mins passed, we haven't found him.

Then i asked guards at entrance. He's spotted at another guard post. Another entrance.

I rushed to the place. But couldn't find any sight of a boy in green shirt & green short pant. He was not there. The guard said he was there shortly before but he already ran away to opposite side. 

Means cross the main road? Tho it's within the housing area, but i considered it's main road with double lanes and traffic light. And it is such a busy road. I crossed to the other side. There is a park with a playground, a lake and jogging trek. I cant imagine i have to look for him at such big area and what if i cant find him anytime soon? Something bad may happen? 

Laailaha illa anta, subhanaka inni kuntu minazzolimiin.

As soon as i parked my car, i heard motorcyle honks. I turned to opposite road, there i saw a boy in green, on the motorcycle with a guard. The guard waved at us.

Alhamdulillaah syukur. Alhamdulilaah syukur.

Soon after i got him into my arms again, i felt i started to breath again. 

Gasping for air. Tired.

And GUILTY.