gelora

di dalam kekalutan, kecelaruan, keresahan, kejimatan, dan segala bagai ketidakaturan...
tiba-tiba, ku merasa seperti satu perasaan yang tidak dapat dibendung...
meronta-ronta, bergolak, mengheret ku...
ke tempat itu.

setelah...
ku rasa mungkin lebih dari 7 tahun ku tidak menjejak,
dan tidak terjebak di dalam kancah itu.

first catch : sunday

second catch : today

kini ku (mungkin) bahagia menyental muka ku

rongak

asyik tenggelam timbul je updates kat blog
and i'm less active at fb either
i guess i have more offline activity lately

Alhamdulillaah
for His blessings, time & opportunity
laid upon me

i am a student again
enrolled myself at quran class
there's a big room for improvement
iLike

i am a running mother
that's pretty normal
but i have yet to settle his schooling matters
iWorry

i am sick
my wisdom tooth going to retire
and by immediate chance, it shall be "laid off"
by today! huhu
iSuperNervous

see you soon!
(bak kata En Hwang, si kumbang baik hati)
;)

mabuk

oh my. i am in love again...not!

mabuk sebenarnya. mabuk drama korea. but only tis particular one.

war of the roses

oh no no. i'm not a k-pop fan. neva.

but i'm just amused (read: hooked) with tis one, currently.

lucky me, its show time is quite late at nite, 10.25

my baby Jr. goes to bed as early as 8.30, accompanied by Mr.

so i have my me-time with remote control ;)

note 1 : i like the second lead man. biasa lah, for me second is always better

note 2 : i think he is cute.

ahaks!

permisi

periuk nasi

i bought a new rice cooker
after...some months, since the last one retired
finally i made up my mind
okay i'm a bit choosy maybe
tot we could just settle with a small one
for our small family
but after a thoughtful thought (heh)
i chose that 1.8L (hamek kaww)
with some extra features, can bake cakes and breads (katanya)
kalau tak rajin-rajin jugak dunno lah

and so happened, today is budget day
but i never found interest in those thing actually
and since i'm unemployed, i am much more un-interested
good for them, good for those who benefits from tht

makin bertambah besar periuk nasi diorang

hello blog!

i took a long break

but i cant leave tis blog unattended for any longer
i suppose

see
here i am
now i am back

while i was away

hari raya was fine
i didnt really cook
it wasnt quite a feast
but we did celebrate
for His blessings

perhaps more short updates will coming up soon
i gotta leave now
to catch my current fav drama

?
oh. so the very makcik-makcik
*whateva*

tataa

vroom vroom

setelah seketika menyepi...

cun tak?

.

.

.

.

.

pastu bley feeling-feeling mcm ni tak?

awww

.

.

.

.

tak pun, feeling gagah perkasa mcm ni

Disclaimer : tak, i tak beli vespa...cuma usha aje. berkenan plak rasanya

Nota kaki : arini dah 24 Ramadhan, dah tak lama nak raya. amal kita so far mcmana? gred apa agak2 kita dapat? jomm...ambik peluang yg masih ada, tambahkan amalan kita. semoga di terimaNya dan diberi ganjaran taqwa.
vroom vroom...

param

i heard it once or twice from last year.

pasar ramadhan, shortened by its fans i suppose.

the other time i heard of "jadul".

any guess? .

.

.

"jaman dulu". by indonesians. i think they are more advanced with these crop-up terms.

few years back i heard of "met ultah" for first time. hoho, apekah?

.

.

selamat ulang tahun, rupanya. heh...and some others. (yes credits to Diah, my blogging buddy)



so back to Param. finally we survived a param today, at TTDI. oh my, big mistake. massive crowd! plus, ada plak shooting apa2 ntah i nmpk few familiar faces, adui.

we spent less than RM20, then we rushed out for fresh air.

adoii! i told Mr, thts our first and last visit for tis year. hopefully. we'll see



#mokcik dun enjoy crowd-ness la, mokcik fenin

sekadar gambar hiasan yg tidak berkaitan

kasih sayang

if you have an autistic child
how do you treat and teach him/her ?
do you treat and teach him/her as a normal child, or as a special one with special needs?

if you have an autistic child
how do you dream of his/her future?
will we have rainbows, day after day?
or do you (strive to see) a silver line behind the dark clouds

i love my son, nevertheless.
but sometimes
i'm just so torn
hurting myself
whenever i see me
failed to make him happy


Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan
(maybe it's a little too late)
Selamat Menjalani Ibadah

semoga kita sentiasa didalam redhaNya
di dalam kasih sayang Nya
Ameen

meroyan

heh. just ignore the title. it's just not so apt.

these few days i kept myself occupied with house decorating. thehe. not really much. just trying out some "magical touch" (as if any) at some nook & corners. 

tis is my habit when Mr is not around, i mean when he's outstation.

i remember in our first year of marriage, he used to travel alot. in fact, on the day we came back from our short honeymoon, that very nite he flew off for almost 2 weeks. so naturally i grew a habit to kill my time.

i worked back then, but after office hours i found i had plenty of time to deal with. plus, i was alone. nobody to talk to, nobody to share foods. then i resort to gardening. kononnya. almost every day i made a point to drop by at plant nursery and looked for some new greens. pots berlambak-lambak. 

then my "passion" slowly withered when i pregnant some months later.

and Mr also slowly back into new working schedule. 

last few days, he went off again after many years. but tis time i'm here with a son, who claims most of my time. yet i had tis old habit sneaking. thehe.

my first project, i turned a small corner into a mini library. i bought tis cheap bookcase from ikea, for rm75 i didnt think twice. and it turns out perfect. perfect for its price and its space.

the next day i scout for bean bag, and found it at harvey's. it's not that cheap tho, so daku pejamkan mata sebelah. BUT, another "magic moment" happened when i entered furniture shop next door with NO PLAN NOR INTENTION to buy, but tht sinful nafs hit me again. I bought something again which i named it Pyramid Shelves with Hook. A total unplanned purchase that burnt my wallet.

So when i get back into my sanely mind again, i justifying myself of that purchase...okay, i take it as Anniversary Gift. buless? 

dah tu, tak cukup lagi. nafsu masih membuak-buak.

the following day, i paid a visit to ikea again. tis time with a solid intention, to buy ONLY ONE standing light. later i came back with a piece of printed cotton, and that standing light.

happy. i sewed the both ends of tht cotton and it become a "blind" for my mini library. as to blind off some ugly electrical boards. 

today i bought another two lights but the cheapest. at rm26 each, i bag two. plus, i got a small size bean bag for Jr. 

now i can take back mine.

happy. so when Mr is back just now in the evening, dengan bangga i showed him my "artworks"

half-amused, he smiled. 

i guess he's more concern of that "damage." haha

our Anniversary Gift, i whispered.

adjustment

mind you, i have more stories of my last Umrah, of Mecca in particular.
but i'll do it later. they are nice stories tho, but this little post will come out first.

okay.
we've done with our super low budget anniversary celebration
but it's not budget or prezzie that counts
we (me) have came across another learning curve afterall
love is not just about special date
love is much of unspoken "celebration"
but hey, of cos some little pleasant surprises do no harm *wink*

now back to our reality
our current strategy (waaah)

while me, The Desperate Mother is still in the big dark cloud about Jr. situation
i decided to snap an immediate countermeasure
NO TV for Jr.
at least, not on weekdays
plus, oh did i mentione i have terminate disney's package?
yes tht might helps
and by doing so, it also affected Mommy & Daddy
which is good, in fact it's very good.

one, while we substitute TV hours, we have more time for us
or individually us
Jr. is hardly adjusting with Mommy's new role, ie HomeTeacher plus "Mak Tiri"
i must say i am a bad teacher actually
i have very little patience when teaching him writing, now he's still struggling to hold pencil firmly
but i have lotsa lotsa love to share, tht's my biggest weakness

two, we (me) adopting my old love again, books
i missed reading books
i blame it on my unorganized routines, plus other distractions, tht is FB to name one
but tis week alone, i got for myself 3 new books. 1 fiction and 2 islamic knowledge.
plus today another 2 books for kuliah dhuha
so that makes 5. yayye!
and some activity books for Jr. (he really really needs to improve, O' Allaah please make it easy for him and me), plus 2 short stories book.

i hope tis new adjustment will make better for us.
oh btw, i'm still looking for school.
adooi.

sardine cinta

it's our anniversary again

yayye.
it's 7th year now...alhamdulillah

but we dun really celebrate
it's just another normal sunday
Mr had his golfing in the morning
me & Jr had our breakfast together at KD
after me settled an important task at Mesjid KD

then
right after the breakfast
Jr puked in the car
overloaded i guess
that's it
i drove back home, cleaned up the mess

afternoon Mr came back
i was out of mood to celebrate
little talk, little smile

Mr asked to dine out, but i refused
really not in the mood to celebrate
then i cooked sardine for dinner, can u believe?
and soup, and fried egg
hahaha..such a sweet dinner

as long as we know we care for each other
no lovey dovey love notes
no bling bling
no posh handbag

sardine cinta will do

i take some good time to count blessing
Alhamdulillah, syukur...

# p.s : i got a surprised present from my caring dear neighbor-fren
her moist choc cake saved our evening, afterall..
thank you buddy. jazakaAllaahu khairan

preparation

so finally i got myself a travel bag. a medium size. red color. love it.
(i am a red lover, i guess)
it was yesterday.

and today The Three Us went to some shopping outing, somehow i managed to convince Mr. to get some new shirts for him. After many many moons of postponing. Sangat susah nak suruh dia pegi pilih baju/seluar dia sendiri. Malas katanya. Some of his shirts dah berlobang. Malu. Tapi dia okay je pakai yang berlobang kat ketiak tu pegi keje. hehe

one thing that i most concern about leaving these One & A Half Men;
* pakaian - can he do laundry? doubt doubt doubt

so today i forced him to pick some new shirts, and underwear. ;)
and i bought some for Jr. too...
lega. at least for tht matter.

and i got two new pairs of socks. that's enough for me.
next...
hmm...what's next?

#p.s
we had some little surprises today;
i) morning - Jr. "accidentally" wash up his "business" by himself. alone. wah!
ii) while mommy belek-belek pilih his brief at kids department, he pointed to Ben10 box. Amboii..padahal kat rumah tak penah2 pun nak layan ben10 etc.

I think i shud be prepared to welcome a big boy in the house soon
=)

sederhana

few things now i've learned after...wait let me count
(i was officially out of office job from december 2008)
let say, it's about 29 months now. if i were deliver a baby, she/he maybe started babbling some funny language already.
so am i. few things i discovered and so grateful to Him (no other than Him) for this beautiful piece of lessons.

Money.
It seems we appreciate it more and most when we are lacking of it.
I spent it more and unnecessarily when i was holding my salary job. Little surprise. I used to spend and spend and spend, bcos i know by end of the day or month, there's another supply topping up my account. But little did i appreciate. And on top of my cash, i spent with two credit cards too. For some mystery reasons to my wonder now. *sigh*
Later, when i'm unsalaried, i found myself so fragile with some needs (and a little urge) to spend but with limited budget in my hand. I failed to manage for few first months. Then slowly i pick me up to the right track again. Alhamdulillah...

Now.
Im legally a proud owner of my old proton car. Paid the last payment last month.
Credit balance of that second credit card not worrying much. Gonna settle that one pretty soon. The first one was settled last year.
My study loan is quite bothering. I just learned that i could arrange repayment from my EPF account. That's better. Will get it done soon.
And, our apartment installment is being paid by our tenant. Plus its maintenance. That saves my headache.

Lesson.
We cant afford to buy everything we want, but we dun really need 'em for real.
We can dream about nice new car, but this old one doing just fine.
We dun have big fat account, but it seems enough to make us smile.

i "bag" my pardon

women
and bag
just like..
men & girlfren..no?

we do carry our best bag around
we value them as best friend, sometimes
we trust them, we lug in all our valuables
and some whatnots most of time

people hovers around bag section during sales
women love them dearly
as much as we want to bag 'em all new release

but,
do we really need em?
just as much as we want them?

a little thing to ponder
to myself

somehow, i found myself a little more sensible now
since being homemaker i supposed
i put forward more sensible priorities above

i dun bag them Gucci, Prada, LV and such
yet i'm content
bcos i dun really need them

as much as i dun bag their clones
bcos i dun need the brands

i'm just okay with my old brown

breezy & hungry

it's kind weather now
tis morning was downpour, leaving cool air after
bright and breezy
alhamdulillah

somehow it makes me hungry
errm..not really bcos of tis weather
it's just i havent taken my lunch
now i'm contemplating about making CUCUR
should i?

since being "home alone" (my Jr. is not sharing my food, and not sharing his foods either)
i'm soooo malas to prepare food, especially lunch
and tapau food is not so tempting anymore

cucur bilis with sambal sardine
yummeh

or, cucur udang...plus small cut kangkung
aiseh

i gotta find something now

of late

late
it's 12.55am, malaysia time..when i start hitting these keys
i cant rest my eyes

of late
i guess i'm not really so sure
what i really want for my life
more of myself

of late
i've been contemplating about working
sometimes tht classic idea knocking my head again
but
but
...and but
i have these many (few) reasons tht opposing, still

of late
i'm not so sure
what's my true passion?

gud (late) nite
and happy weekend

drowned

Disclaimer : Perhatian perhatian...ibu ibu bapak bapak...

sebenar benarnya, saya BUKAN tergolong di dalam kelompok peminat penyanyi ini

cuma...saya (agak) suka lagu ini. Tu jer...

Dan sejujurnya, saya lebih suka Usop Wilcha! Ahahahaha...

ceciter

title kat atas tu mcm aura happy je kan, aura Usop Wilcha

tapi citer sebenarnya adalah sebaliknya...

petang tadi, masa dinner

oh btw, selalunya kami makan dinner awal

Mr K (the husband) balik keje pukul 6.30 ptg, selalunya mmg time tu lah

so saya The Isteri Mithali-Wannabe ni will try to make sure, by 6.30 makanan dinner dah tersedia

makan-makan then kemas-kemas, so by Maghrib semua dah settle

kononnya mcm tu lah rutin sepatutnya

okay, berbalik kpd tajuk asal

so masa dinner tadi, walaupun dinner yg sgt simple sahaja

berlaukkan sardin sambal, telur goreng dan sayur buncis goreng berudang

nampak si suami tetap berselera

tetiba, si suami membuka cerite

(ceciter..ceciter)

katanya...

today neh...

i read from internet

a story. about a kid in japan

about tsunami? (i mencelah)

yes yes...

so this kid, four years old...

a girl? (i mencelah lagi...)

yes yes...

her mother missing during tsunami

now she stay with her grandmother

and neh..today suddenly she draw her mother picture

(alamak..tetiba i rasa tekak dah tersekat)

and she said, "i want to be waves..."

"because i want to meet Mother"

(i dah tunduk...menahan perasaan...dan si suami juga tunduk diam)

(can we take her as our daughter? can we bring her here? i bersuara tetiba)

no no...she stays with her father also

and neh..

she said, "if i become waves, i can hug Mother"

(aiseh..sardin sambal tetiba jadi pahit rasanya)

and neh..her father teach her, now her mother stays in the sky

and show to her, the most big star, that's her Mother

and that kid say...

"so i want to be the small star...i can stay near Mother"

....

....

(i diam. Pilu)

....

....

then i turned to our Jr. who's savoring his plateful of nasi goreng

and i said

i think if we ask Ummar, he must say he wants to be RICE.

his utmost desire

*geleng-geleng*

bawal power

sape penah dengar nama mcm kat atas tu?
itu nama kedai kat kota dsara, menu nasi putih & ikan bawal yg digoreng panas-panas, dihidang dgn sambal belacan dan kuah
mmg best...tapi..kalau kita masak kat umah lagi powerrr kot
;)

anyway,
this entry is not dedicated to promote that kedai
let them doing good with their business
but i want to write about my current passion for TUDUNG BAWAL
yess..i'm back to my jaman rumaja memories

dulu-dulu.
when i was in teen ages,
and early twenties..this tudung bawal was very hot back then
almost all gadis-gadis sunti universiti pakai tudung style ni
with sulam-sulaman, it started with
then evolved into more choices...extra sulam la, dah nak macam pokok jadi nya kat kepala :)
then ada pulak style berbatu-bata, berkilau-kilauan
aargghh...i hate that most
faux okay..

kemudian,
when i started working phase, i chose to change my tudung style..chewwaahh..konon ya
no more tudung bawal..old skool lah katakan (mweekk)
then i invented my scarf collection
bertimbun-timbun, almost separuh almari baju yg kecik tu
floral scarf..cantik..but kecik lah
donned with my casual attire, jeans & shirt
maklum la..kerja kat site, sunburn sama bangla jugak

lepas tu pulak,
once dah married, few months later site project pun siap, and i was transferred into operation
keje dalam ofis balik, small office but at least more comfortable than site office
then..style awning hit the town
it was started with munawwarah..i must say they are pioneer in this tudung awning affair
so i was crazee about this munawwarah
almost every week i visited their boutique
satu-satu i angkut
mana yg design baru keluar, i pun nak
hoh hoh speaking of bad nafs
itu lah bahayanya bila ada duit sendiri
semua terdetik semua nak dibeli
soon later, banyak la pulak tudung manufacturer yg lain pun follow
i saw tudung awning everywhere
everywhere..and of cos they are much much cheaper
so i felt intimidated (boley?)
it's like no exclusiveness in the price i paid for munawwarah before
aiseh..so when tudung awning syle flooded the town (and the country actually), i put it down
plus, i found that it's not easy to maintain tht awning shape after few washes

then,
i lost my favourite style
i tried tis, that and few others
but it doesn't really suits me

until.
recently, i decided to go back into my old style
tudung bawal
so far it makes me feel better
and this week alone, i went to infamous Jalan Tar already twice
hunting for tudung bawal :)

let's see..
how long this re-connected love will last
;)

xoxo

gambar ihsan dari Google

notes

first of all...*lap2 sikit habuk2 kat blog ni*
nasib baik belum bersawang ya... he he

life has been doing normal, if it's not extra taxing at times
yet that is pretty normal too
running a private Ministry of Home Affair aint small job i telllll cha
the other day, on my wall at fb, a fren mentioned about being a housewife
about how she wished that she could retire her job for being at home fulltime
(guess what, i used to have that kinda escapism day dream most of time, especially when boss keeps bossing around or not-a-boss keeps bugging for nonsense)

i totally understand her feeling
i almost wanted to comment : yup! listen to ur heart! follow your dream
yet i wrote : be careful of what u wish...unless if u have a very good helper, a very handsome driver, and a wealthy generous husband. otherwise being a fulltime housewife is very tiring, but very very satisfying.

i really meant that.

of cos ones couldn't (or almost impossible) to live in her every dream, but we can make it somewhat closer.

i know a wife who is doing very well with her high-paid job, catching up planes for business trip, leaving behind her family for most of time, exhausting her waking hours for datelines.
i'm sure she's doing that for reasons, but maybe not fun.

i know another wife who dedicates her days and nites for her family. a big number of them. managing all without a helper tho i think she deserves one. but she carries it all from time to time.
i'm sure she's doing that for reasons, and maybe she finds some fun.

and i also know another wife, who i think she's not quite sure what she really wants. or maybe if she does, she seems not leading to the correct path.

i think, life offers some highways and junctions. it's never too late to change lane or u-turn, whenever if necessary.

somehow this entry reminds me of today's kuliah dhuha i attended. (i'm going to make a new label, of lecture notes for my future reference)

Dari Ibnu Umar radhiallahu 'anhuma, katanya : "Saya mendengar Rasulullah saw bersabda:
"Semua orang dari engkau sekalian itu adalah penggembala dan semuanya saja akan ditanya tentang penggembalaannya. Seorang imam-pemimpin-adalah penggembala dan akan ditanya tentang penggembalaannya. Seorang lelaki adalah penggembala dalam keluarganya dan akan ditanya tentang penggembalaannya, seorang isteri adalah penggembala di rumah suaminya dan akan ditanya tentang penggembalaannya. Seorang khadam/pekerja juga penggembala dalam harta tuannya dan akan ditanya tentang penggembalaannya. Maka semua orang dari engkau sekalian itu adalah penggembala dan akan ditanya tentang penggembalaannya" (Muttafaq 'alaih)